In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
