How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
