Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
