Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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