3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
