me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Who died my cat blue again?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
