Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
