She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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