I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
