Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
