He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
