you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
