So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
