I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hippo gnu deer
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
