i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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