How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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