She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
