Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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