I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
