I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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