they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
