The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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