He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
