I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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