Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
