Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
