no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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