It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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