I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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