i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
