? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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