I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
