I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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