we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There's even glitter on my cock...
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