Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
