You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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