it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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