Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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