So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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