she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
