You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is Oprah even human
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My life is pants optional.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize