i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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