A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
