Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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