And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
