Having a random hookup so left but love u
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
