Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
