I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
