Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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