I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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