he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
