Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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