I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
