I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
