fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
