There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
